Textsfromlastnight.com

[Atla]

I am easily amused.

(519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

(940): there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me

(630): She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.

(919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

(212): i want you now
(916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

(612): What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?

[owly]

[bvaughan]

(416): when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.

(416): you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night

(254): You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"

i love that site

[Atla]

(734): just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"

(320): so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..

(305) 1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge

[Gerien]

Atla!

(571): So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.

[Gerien]

(847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
(1-847): How was it?
(847): Fantastic, but that's not the point.



(334): you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?

[Atla]

Hardy HARR! ;p

And it's addictive. Don't read to much or you'll go blind.

[MoP]

One for Owly

(248): I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now

[Nagash]

(334): you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?

QFT. I'm pretty sure he's a tranny.

[Venus]

lol i found that sight on fb the other day
its addicting

[MoP]

Someone says tranny and the next thing you know he's here!

[Venus]

one day im gonna come to where u are and kick u!!!

[Atla]

Venus - why have you not added me on fb?

I know it's cause your a little intimidated by my good looks, masculine charm, and thin wallet.

;>

[owly]

Slap it! he likes being slaped in the ass, just like Mikey he likes everything......

[Nagash]

(334): you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?

QFT. I'm pretty sure he's a tranny.

lol i found that sight on fb the other day
its addicting

Someone says tranny and the next thing you know he's here!

one day im gonna come to where u are and kick u!!!

You could have MoP get in your panties and assess the "Inconvenient Truth" then. I'll videotape it and get an Oscar and a Nobel Prize or two...

[Raknarak]

First, I used to think my friends and I had screwed up conversations. Thanks, we're normal compared to some of these people.

Second, every single one of my exes has now jumped up a thousand spots on my rating scale. Guess I do have dang good taste. *ROFL*

Finally, thanks for posting this. Now I have something to read at work, all day long. I'm glad I'm the only one up here, though. Especially when I keep saying, "Oh, God..." or "What the hell?" or just simply shivering.

[Atla]

I live to entertain.

And bust nuts and caps yo.

[owly]

One for Owly

(248): I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now

where you find my secrete conversation