So... I think I made a baby last night.

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Atla
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So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by Atla » Sun Oct 18, 2009 5:31 pm

Oops.

Barebacking some yankee girl from New york in the groomsmen suite bathroom may not be classy, but at 12 beers and going strong - its entertaining as hell.

I love weddings.

Image

Look at me!

I'm a pretty man. That grin, that charisma, that charm...

Need I say more?

So - the things I learned last night.

1. My friends are exceptionally pretty people.
2. Candle wax on your pants looks like ejaculante.
3. 12 beers may be my current limit.
4. When your driving an hour and half home at 3:45am... you can go Ricky Bobby fast.
5. I have dance moves that don't have names yet!
6. Don't dance with girls under 18 with a beer in your hand, her pa don't like it none.
7. If there are two gingers in the same room, they are drawn to each other, and their individual humiliation is cut in half.
8. I gotta visit that big New York place...DAMN they got neat tricks up there.
9. I should never ever ever be left up to my own devices when I'm drunk. I need a chaperone.
10. I wanna be a wedding crasher.
Last edited by Atla on Sun Oct 18, 2009 5:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Atla
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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by Atla » Sun Oct 18, 2009 5:32 pm

Oh no...

I'm going BALD!
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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by Mickal Redwater » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:07 pm

Hahah sounds like a great time! can't wait for friends to get married so i can find me some cute bridesmaids :P


I think thats one of the best pictures of you (in a totally heterosexual way) i've seen :P


My favorite of you learnings:

#6

Hahahaha :)
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Atla
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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by Atla » Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:03 am

She wasn't a bridesmaid, just a friend of the bride.

I woke up this morning to a Facebook comment of, "I know what you did last night. HAH!" from the groom.

I -thought- she was kinda cute.

Reviewing the pictures today... I'm gonna have to drop her from what I thought was a 7 to a 5. She weren't busted, but my beer goggles were on mighty thick.

And well, let's be honest. I'd never admit to sleeping with anything lower than a 5. So she's a 5...dangit.

Hey...

Do you think by having so much alcohol in my bloodstream it will kill off the potential crotch cooties?
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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by Gerien » Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:30 am

heteros...
And I never even got my own damn posting title!

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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by Thomas » Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:29 am

I think 5 is reasonable... But it's hard to tell from one picture. Heck, I think the gun laws in New York will keep you away for a while.
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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by Atla » Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:24 am

Oh hey wait now, girl in picture is not the girl I had sex with.

That Ginger is my best friend, who I'm gonna be living with next year. We already had our sex, one night a couple years back when we were real drunk. We tease each other about it, cause I was amazing in bed and she wasn't.

Truth is we were so drunk we kinda don't recall the event real well - but thats the story I'm sticking to!

NYC and me wouldn't mix no how. Cause I ain't ever obeying any of their draconian gun laws, so with my luck I'd have to shoot some folks and I'd be damned if they'll ever put cuffs on me.

I could see it escalating pretty easily.

Just the same... maybe.

I'd kinda like to see the big city some time, see what you wierdos are like in your natural environment. And I did make a drunken promise that I'd go up there sometime, but only if I wore my cowboy boots and hat. ;>

Just so they don't mistake me for a local.
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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by tubs » Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:48 am

Here in LA, you would be mistaken for a local!

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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by MoP » Mon Oct 19, 2009 8:08 am

No guns in the pic? Nor a jeep?

Tssk, slacker.

And doing a 5? Damn man! People like you slow down the natural extinction of ugly girls!
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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by Nagash » Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:42 am

A little yankee Atla, conceived in the bathroom. How wonderful :)
If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!

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Atla
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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by Atla » Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:34 pm

If it's a boy, I shall name him Spartacus! And he will destroy NYC!

I'll dig around a little and see if I can find a pic of this NYC girl. There's gotta be one somewhere uploaded on facebook from the wedding. You all can judge.

But since he/she/its DNA is half mine... well - the babys gonna come out with guns blazing!
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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by Atla » Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:46 pm

MoP wrote:No guns in the pic? Nor a jeep?

Tssk, slacker.

And doing a 5? Damn man! People like you slow down the natural extinction of ugly girls!
You know - this reminded me I haven't checked my camera yet, cause we attempted to take pictures in the jeep at one point.

And...-sigh-

Here you are. A picture of both NYC and 16 y/o.

NYC in the black dress with the yellowish colored ribbon thingy.(Awesome picture right?)
Image

Um...yeah - theres a closeup. Heh...heh... Why are my lips on her face?
Image

My Ginger had a bite mark on her from her boyfriend, I was re-enacting it. The 16 y/o is to my right behind me in the black.

AND THE MIDGET IS RIGHT NEXT TO HER! ahahahahahahahaha!

I got a pic of him! SCORE!
Image
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Atla
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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by Atla » Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:49 pm

Image

Wooo - I was able to zoom in a little.

Now, it's time for me to go do job applications so I can begin to be an adult.
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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by Nagash » Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:31 pm

No comment. :P
If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!

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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by Fireslash » Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:05 pm

good luck with teh baby :lol:

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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by owly » Tue Oct 20, 2009 1:43 am

Name him or her owly
i know what you said about my Momma

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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by Nato » Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:35 am

Oh my god, babies are the least of your problems if you're having unprotected sex!


1 in 4 women have chlamydia and men are usually asymptomatic. That's your sex ed for the day. Shit, do you need condoms? I WILL MAIL YOU SOME.

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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by Maverick » Tue Oct 20, 2009 7:08 am

Wow sleeping with a girl from NY without a condom.

You wouldnt make it in the North for 1 day Atla.

Guns cant kill disease.
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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by Nagash » Tue Oct 20, 2009 8:42 am

If you do try to shoot your willy if you have a case of herpes, mail us the pictures! ;)
If word gets out that I'm missing, 500 girls will kill themselves and I wouldn't want them on my conscience - not when they ought to be on my face!

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Re: So... I think I made a baby last night.

Post by MoP » Tue Oct 20, 2009 9:16 am

Is that Dutchman really asking for pics of Atla's testicles?
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