No child for us

[Gerien]

Last night Ruben got a call from his sister - finally. Baby Dabriel (it was supposed to be Gabriel but she insists on him having his absentee grandfather's first initial) was born last Sunday. He's still in the hospital. She says he'll be home tomorrow, but we know it could be months because she was doing heroin the entire pregnancy and he's only 5 1/2 pounds. She signed custody over to her boyfriend (who may or may not be the father and was running around with her while she was doing drugs - we think he's a dealer) and a friend of hers (in recovery and whom we trust) who already has 8 kids and lives in what is essentially a projects. She refused to give us custody because she doesn't want her baby being moved to CA and so far away, even though we told her we're moving to Philly in 5 months and she's in jail until at least then anyway.

She took my boy from me and I can't do anything about it and it fucking hurts. I know she's "the mother", but I put that in quotes because so far she's been anything but.

We're trying to find the silver lining. This lets us focus on finishing school and getting investors for the business. The newborn will be in a home with an experienced mother rather than us flying a preemie across country. We can save money by waiting until we get there to take Gabriel (I refuse to call him "Dabriel") once we move - and we will fight the mother on this because if she thinks she can do drugs while pregnant, go to jail, and just pop back in 9 months later to get her kid after asking us to essentially babysit for a year she's out of her fucking mind.

Still, someone took my boy from me and I can't do anything about it and it fucking hurts.

[owly]

i'm sorry Gerien, sorry for you....

Its like having your guts torn out....

[Oriana]

I am so sorry Gerien . I'd love to be able to beat this bitch down for you. Sometimes I think the whole "mothers rights" deal is a bunch of bullshit. Just because a woman possesses the ability to pop a kid out doesn't make her a mother and to give her the right to be able to keep your baby from you... as a real Mama that just burns the hell out of me. I wish nothing but the best for you darlin'. I know it's not much but I am so rooting for you sweetie! *hugs lots*

[TEVA]

So sorry to hear this bad news. I pray she will change her mind in few months. YOu deserve the child.

[Nagash]

Sorry to hear it, man... that's a big stab in the back to take.

It's twisted that someone can pull such a trick on you, but such are the laws we must abide with...
Focusing on the silver lining seems the best thing to do. Also, you might want to turn to trustworthy adoption organisations rather than drug addicts (even if it's Ruben's sister) should you give adoption another shot.

*grin*

But "Dabriel"? WTF?

[Reylan Talonspyre]

I am extremely sorry to see people who want to father children not being able to do so.

That being said, the law will side with her or DCFS. It usually won't side with uninvolved parties who just happened to be watching the child for the mother. The mother can do drugs, kill people, and serve jail time but the law is clear: that is her child. If she can provide a home or something close to that (it really doesn't have to be much) then the law will generally find for the mother.

Maverick probably knows more on that issue. But again, I am not sure about the particular state's laws. In fact, I don't really study law anymore so I don't even know for sure. There may be new statutes to assist you in a case.

[Venus]

im sorry gerien , that sucks.
hope things work out for you though. maybe itll turn around.

[MoP]

Good luck in this one, Gerien. I hope she sees the light and realizes you'll be far better parents then she'll ever be.

[Gerien]

So I just heard via one of Ruben's family members that 4 weeks ago teh mother said she doesn't want us to raise Gabriel because we're gay.

I'm so angry I'm not even gonna say any more. b

[MoP]

I can understand your frustration. It's a really lame reason, but I'm afraid there's not much you can do

I still hope for the best; for you and Ruben, and obviously for the child too.

[Oriana]

She's just realizing this now? (please realize that is pure sarcasm there) Sweetie I am so sorry, I know there isn't a damn thing anyone can say that will help or make you feel any better. Again for me it comes down to what a real Mama would do, if she was any kind of mother at all (imho) she'd give you that baby because two daddies sure as hell is better than one junkie "mother". Especially two daddies who want to give that little boy the good life that he deserves.

[owly]

She had no trouble dumping the child in your laps and she knew you where gay now all the sudden it's Taboo what a crock. i feel for you Gerien and Ruben, Maybe one day you will get a child of your own. i wish it will be soomer than latter......

[Reylan Talonspyre]

Life is not fair. I am very sorry for your loss, but that doesn't mean you can't be parents.

Have you two thought about adopting?

[Gerien]

It isn't so much that we want a child as that we want Gabriel to be taken care of. If we could be sure he would be in some other way, we'd walk away from this. Right now, though, we really do seem to be the best option for him.

[owly]

Librarian make good fathers they have all the 'how to books'.....

[Nagash]

So I just heard via one of Ruben's family members that 4 weeks ago teh mother said she doesn't want us to raise Gabriel because we're gay.

I'm so angry I'm not even gonna say any more. b

I know it's playing with fire saying so on these mostly American boards, but the first thing I thought when I read it was "typical American conservatism". Let go of that bible and conservatism and judge people for who they are, rather than their sexual tastes.

Really sorry for you mate. As if it wasn't bad enough yet, this must've exacerbated it all.

[Venus]

wtf does being gay have to do with it
has anyone told her that u cant "turn" him gay just cause u raise him?

people are idiots sometimes

and

dabrial?
hell no.
thats retarded

[Nagash]

FYI: homosexuality is contagious. Imams and priests say so, so it must be true.


You hit the nail on the head, V. I'm afraid there are much more idiots than we'd like though.

[Nato]

I am so, so, so sorry to hear about this.

Any child would be lucky to have you and your partner, but especially this child. I am infinitely sorry that you have to go through this process in such a tragic way. I hope you eventually reconcile this and are able to get your family back.