Post
by bigSparky » Fri Jan 06, 2012 1:17 am
Keeps getting better and better. Tolvaj called me this morning and said he really needed to talk to me. Sounded extremely down. He came over and told me that our older brother passed sometime between 2:45 PM Christmas day and I think he said yesterday. Never went back to work after Christmas break and his employer called the police. They did a forced entry and found him in the bathtub. He had copd and failing health, but when I talked to him Christmas day he seemed to be in high spirits, his biggest concern being he couldn't find a place open to get propane for his BBQ. I'm glad his torment over his sexuality is finally over. I'm glad I got to tell him I love him one last time. We'd had such a nice conversation. He said his meds were finally working and how nice it was to breathe. We talked about the time we talked Tolvaj into seeing if he would fit in the dryer. " No Norm, we won't turn it on, honest. We just want to see if you'll fit". Well, he didn't get all the way in so we held the button and turned it on. Man he was pissed, but far too little to do anything about it, LoL. So we then convinced him to get in a second time, promising again that we wouldn't turn it on, and that we only did because he didn't get all the way in. OF COURSE we turned it on and held the door closed.
We laughed like kids again, and it was so long since we did that. Fuck this hurts bad. I didn't realize how much until I started writing this. He would have been 58 this year, and actually had a birthday this year since there are 29 days in February.
I've always loved you Rick, even when we were so far apart. I always will.
Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned. ~Buddha