Monarchs Glen

this is my rant cause if i get it out, ill stop being as annoyed and not go off on someone on my facebook and cause some damage
u guys dont even have to reply, i just need somewhere to rant please
so u can just ignore it if u want:P
or spam it, or post things that annoy u, whatever u want to use the thread for is fine:>

<wait , scratch that, no talking about my penis and three boobs!:P> which i DONT have!

on with my bitching!


you know, i've decided that there are at least two things people do on face book that annoy the ungodly shit out of me.
ill probably think of more soon though..

1. post constantly about god and praying

now don't get me wrong, i'm as religious as most. i believe in god wholeheartedly. however
i do NOT want to read about it in every post by nearly every damn person on my facebook
i don't want to read that post that goes around about how only 3 percent of people will re-post that jesus is our Savior etc.
and then EVERYONE on my damn fb reposts the damn thing


i mean, talk about something else every now and then please.

2. people <and im talking about one specific person here who i cant bitch about on facebook but can bitch about here> who act as if they are the ONLY people on the planet who ever had young children and had to raise them. to hear her tell it, shes singlehandedly raising these kids<shes married with EXTENDED babysitters in the family any time she asks. which is ALOT ALOT ALOT

omfg
to hear her post EVERY day its something, shes sick, her kids are sick, her life is about being sick and her kids, she posts about EVERY fight she gets into with her husband and how it affects her and why shes the worst mother ever. but the thing is, she only posts that so others will tell her shes the BEST mommy in the world
and so she can get sympathy when she doesn't feel well. there's nothing really wrong with her, she gets headaches /sigh
we ALL do

if i posted every damn time i felt like shit i'd drive people nuts
she posts and whines when shes got a cold. and all 500 of her friends list run in to tell her shes wonderful and its so bad she cant catch a break and shes the best mommy in the world and she should pray for her health and they'll pray for her and omfg

i mean it'd be different if she did this once a week
but its EVERY fucking day
every day
sometimes more than once a day
/rolls eyes

she needs attention, she has to have validation constantly, it drives me absolutely batshit but i cant exactly unfriend her cause we are related so ill bitch about it here

omfg omfg

one of these days im gonna be having a bad day and go off and rant on her
that wont be pretty

and i cant hide her posts, she messages me about the kids and stuff, so thats out

i just wanna scream!!!!
i swear to god im considering just deleting the fucking facebook account
if i didnt keep up with old friends on there, i already would have.

and err, none of u on my facebook go post this on my page please
that would be really -really- bad and id have to rethink adding u fuckers to my real life:Ppp

ok, now u can have the thread:P
spam or tell me what annoys u about life:>

or help me bitch about mothers who think they are the only people in the world who ever had a kid!

i feel lucky i don't ever hardly check FB lol..... i hate drana queens like that. And if you ever do go off on her on FB then show us here what you said lol

i believe in god to but i'm to young to want to hear about him every second of the day......

*Refrains from Alien jokes*

I "hide" a lot of people V to be honest. At times FB does have some of the annoying parts of live/deadjournal

Some people are extra dramatic and for a while its funny but then there drama-queen type posts get annoying so i "show less/hide" of them ( whatever its called ).

Same goes for god type stuff. Each to their own and all that....but i never want to read about anyone praising any particular god ( well except me perhaps :p )...so yeah same thing with them really "hide/less of". But really i dont see that much, mainly cos us Brits aren't really that religious generally and most my FB friends are RL ones.

This is why i refuse to have facebook or myspace, if i wanted to know what someone was doing every second of the day i would hang out with them

Well you should be lucky that Jesus (wow jesus not capitalized shows up as a spelling error), or at least some one closer to jesus than any of your friends (I know you dont know any chosen people) has taken the time to answer your prayers.

First prayer for relief, getting away from jesus.

If you ever receive something about jesus being your savior, the absolute best way to handle it, is to ask them to recite the 10 commandments. If they really love god, they should be able to do this easily, if they dont love god they wont remember them, which kind of is a screw job because I have no clue what they are either and then the joke isnt half as fun. So lets just hope they know the 10 commandments. (And lets hope that they arent educated enough to know that there are multiple "10 commandments")

Anyways if everything is going well, theyve posted back to you the 10 commandments.

Now here is the tricky part, if they are a Christian, they most likely have butchered the 10 commandments, so your going to have to go Old Testament on them. The key is that the Christians have butchered the original 10 commandments so you have to go to the source, Exodus 20. http://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt0220.htm

I am the LORD thy God, who brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.

Thou shalt not make unto thee a graven image, nor any manner of likeness, of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth;

Now youll notice something interesting, you can not have "graven images", you can not have make "any likeness" of god, heaven etc. Youll also notice, that you can have no other gods besides for God.

Why is this important?

Because I bet that your friend who sent you this link, has a picture with them wearing a cross, or a picture of Jesus.

And your probably asking, whats wrong with that?

Well what is wrong, is that the cross is a graven image, as it represents death. Furthermore, as stated by God, you can only have one God, which is why Jesus has to be a part of god, and cant be a god himself (ie the holy trinity because if Jesus himself were a god, it would break the most fundamental rule of Jewish monotheistic religion). Thus if Jesus is god, and you have a picture of Jesus, you have also broken the 10 commandments as you have made something in god's likeness.

Then tell them that they are going to hell, because if they were truly a christian they would follow the Old Testament. Then when they start to cry tell them not to worry because there really isnt a hell, it was just created by Christians to scare people and Jew's dont believe in it anyways.

Second prayer for relief, dealing with whining lady.

Just tell that lady exactly what I said in the previous response, but also add some pointed language about "Thou shall not covet thy neighbors wife" and ask if she thinks that also means your neighbors husband. And then tell her that if you sleep with some one elses husband that they are both going to hell and any baby coming out of that relationship is also going to hell.

But that she shouldnt worry to much because hell is made up anyways, but still worry a little because if god does exist, he probably is a hilarious jew that loves me and we both are going to have a hilariously good time at her expense.



Damn that post was long, and probably offensive. But I just saw the Simpsons special last night and it convinced me that I should try and offend Phil Donoghue.

Just tell that lady exactly what I said in the previous response, but also add some pointed language about "Thou shall not covet thy neighbors wife" and ask if she thinks that also means your neighbors husband. And then tell her that if you sleep with some one elses husband that they are both going to hell and any baby coming out of that relationship is also going to hell.

lol its not melanie:P
although maybe i should send that to her!

You know way to many people that complain constantly.

Im always glad I dont have facebook. Unless some super hot girl from HS is looking for me, then I would love facebook.

The first category sounds like your average Christian to me. The second category sounds like your average fresh mommy to me. Note: only applies to the rather stupid folk within the categories...

You get that crap IRL as well, not just on facebook. Just ignore it, or counter their bollocks with some malicious remarks about their god/children/whatever.


*shrugs*


Works for me anyway.


Now I will even refrain from speculating about the size of your penis and your three boobs, as you said "my penis and three boobs". You are making progress, dear V. Admitting that you have the parts is the first step on the road to sex with Reylan.


*nods sagely*

It could be worse, I could be on facebook to annoy you

Praise the Lord

Just for that i'm making an account ;p

lol i just said that to get V's goat her complaining about bible thumpers and all.......

Groups are the thing, V. Make a bible thumper group, a family group, and an everyone else group. Click the everyone else group when you log on, and only check the others when you want to.

hell the family one is the one that annoys me the most:P
lol and the only recent pics of me are on facebook! with my pink bootses!!

and no penis and three boobs!

Purify them with fire.

Remember the bible says stab me in the eye i stab you in your balls

Venus wrote:hell the family one is the one that annoys me the most:P
lol and the only recent pics of me are on facebook! with my pink bootses!!

and no penis and three boobs!

I could have sworn I saw some out of place bulges......

Maverick wrote:wow jesus not capitalized shows up as a spelling error

You have to install the 'atheism-spelling' to fix that.


And Venus didn't say we couldn't mention her hairy, furry back!

Or her hairy beer belly, for that matter.

Yup. With food leftovers from the past 3 months.