Japan, don't go changing!
Seriously? Seriously? This is so amazing it's almost enough to spark an empty facsimile of joy in the depths of my black and twisted soul. I just wish I had known about this sooner, the mockery could've been going on for months. The amount of inappropriate jokes I can make about this could easily reach Fritzl levels, I forsee critical mass being reached by the end of the month.
To be fair the whole thing is far from a surprise to me. After all this is the nation where they need to create porn scenes depicting schoolgirls being molested. I mean, if they didn't then every male in the country would have to go out and rape a real one, and that could get ugly--especially if nobody had a camera at the time*.
I'm just going to pull some of my favourite quotes from this article, be aware that this shit could easily stray into "tl;dr" territory so pack a sack lunch.
He buys it food? My brain cannot compute this, it's beyond ludicrous even for me.As Nisan and I talked, Nemutan stared demurely at her pumpkin soup.
Worst double act of all time?he takes her out on the weekends to sing karaoke
One day he's going to snap, and that back up is going to be the body of a child in his drawer at work. and everybody who ever saw him out and about buying food for a FUCKING PILLOW will be to blame for not calling the police on principle.He doesn’t take her to work, but he has a backup body pillow with the same Nemutan cover inside his desk drawer in case he has to work late at his tech-support job.
This literally cannot happen soon enough.“When I die, I want to be buried with her in my arms.”
Toru Honda is something of a figurehead of this lunacy. He also, if my sources are to be believed, looks like this:According to Honda, somewhere along the way, decent men like himself lost interest in the notion entirely and turned to 2-D.
Decent man, or utter rapist? You decide!
I'm just going to assume that they were disgusted by the fact that, in this human porn, the women weren't weeping. I mean tears are pretty much the lubricant of choice for people like this.Honda’s fans took his message to heart. When he admitted to watching human porn at a panel discussion in Tokyo in 2005, several hundred hard-core 2-D lovers in the audience booed with shock that their dear leader had nostalgia for the 3-D world.
I'm not sure if that's the most horrifying business name I've ever seen, or the best. I'm going to have to think about it for a while.Momo, who makes X-rated body-pillow covers and sells them through his one-man club, Youkouro, which translates roughly as Furnace of Child Love, was there on business.
Oh and also Japan are looking at building robots that maybe they can fuck? Man, somewhere Joss Whedon is having a fucking fit and looking at housing costs over there.
*This is a joke. There not being a camera in the vicinity would be impossible in Japan.
