Man did I screw up...

[Blu]

I forgot our anniversary yesterday.

No gifts. No flowers. No chocos. No dinner.

Honestly, I didn't even realize yesterday was the 26th. When it did dawn on me that it was the 26th, about 11 at night, I told her Happy Anniversary. She exploded. She said she was expecting something all day. Thought I would go home for lunch with a surprise. A small flower that she's been asking for. Etc. etc. etc.

But seriously WTF. Yesterday was a busy day... Had to take our newborn son for his 2 week visit to the doc. Missed half-a-day of work so I rushed back to the office but before I did, cooked rice so she had something to eat for lunch. I pick up our daughter from day care. We have a regular dinner. After Rose's bath, I try to find something on netflix for us to watch together. Nothing. So she gets on her laptop and starts messing around with a photobook again. So I watch Rose for the rest of the night and put her to sleep (like I do on 99% of nights even before Evan was born).

Although I probably should have thought of getting something earlier in the month...but then again I was looking at Mother's day being around the corner and annivesary completely slipped my mind. And g'damn it, the past months have been hectic. Work work work, pretty much the only person doing house work because of a preggers wife (even though before then she didn't do much house work either...how is it that taking out the trash my duty alone but everything else I do too), visits almost every weekend from someone, prepping and putting my old house on the market AGAIN because her brother screwed me in the end by staying there rent free, didn't maintain it and in the end decided he didn't want to buy the house after all.

Man I started writing this feeling pretty apologetic, now I'm just irritated.

[Gili]

You sound a busy man. Besides....seems like she forgot your anniversary to

Rather than counting down the hours to see if you had remembered, she should have given you something, or done something ( whatever it is you guys do ) which would give you a chance to recover the situation =D

[Lady Maven]

We don't celebrate anything even REMOTELY romantic. On purpose. I walk by flipping the bird to the entire greeting card section. I am just not into all that sappy bullshit. (and after sex I roll over and go to sleep and if someone wants to talk they better get a fucking parrot!) You want to give me a gift what is wrong with TODAY ya know? \

In our home you would only have screwed up if you DID by a V-Day or anniversary gift.

[Gili]

i totally agree!

[Blu]

LOL I wish my life was that easy...

I actually tried that "no gift" approach. Since we were "watching our dollars" I suggested no need to buy gifts period because we're adults with a kid (kids now). That didn't fly too well with her. She was on my case because I got what she wanted but she thought I spent too much for it on Christmas and because I bought her an edible arrangement (since she was preggers and always complained about wanting something to eat so I figured hell why get a flower then...) that she deemed too expensive. We had a good old shouting match about gifts after that. She still wants them but she wants them cheap. UGH. I just dont want any period and tell her that everytime she asks me what I want. I'm an adult if I want something I'll go buy it. If anyone gets gifts, I would say the kids should get it. Guess we were raised differently. Her family...everyone expects a gift, even her parents. My family...my parents have explicitly told us to stop buying them gifts. Her parents go on a trip, they're hands are out for cash. My parents go on a trip, they're hands are in their wallets and purses...only time they want money is for donations to a cause...which they still give in our name and not their own. My wife sees it in terms of wealth..."o your parents are well off" NO. My parents don't squander their money on stupid shit like eating out every weekend, going to clubs (yes OMG her mom still goes to clubs) and the casino or buying a car that is well above their means. Do I feel a certain pride about how I was raised and my family...heck yea I do...and justifiably so...I dont have cousins that vandalize my cars. I dont have an aunt who sifts through my belongings to compare. I don't have a grandpa who feels it is his grandchildren's responsiblity to take him to the casino to blow loads of cash. I don't have a mother who plays favorites and scews us out of a money and attempts to screw us out of money or not show up when she says she's coming or for that matter lie that she's on her way and doesnt show up period or cuts a family visit short out-of-state so she can run home to her bf and drag the rest of us back home too at f'ing midnight for a 7-hr ride because there's only one freaking ride you selfish ass...or gets my daughter sick because she wants to look grandmotherly in a restaurant in front of others and refuses to give my daughter back even or even to my sister-n-law even though she is under a fucking dirty-ass vent blowing god knows what kind of cold air directly on my daughter who's been sniffling the whole time we've been at the restaurant or thinks its hilarious to dip her nasty finger into coffee and then into my then 2-month old daughter's mouth....or sleeps on the couch with my not-even-a-week-old son after I goddamn said explicitly that he is to only sleep in his basinet or crib because it's not safe for an infant and goddamn I knew she was going to pull some bs like that because thats what she does to the other kids in the family.

whooo that's a load off my chest... Well it's all good now. Everything's blown over...

[Lady Maven]

Hell, Blu, after almost 20 years if you are still together I promise you MOST things will just blow over.

In my family no one EXPECTS gifts, but at Christmas I kinda go all out with my immediate family, computers and game systems and the like, to make up for being such a pissy bitch about them the rest of the year. I am the oldest of 9 and there are some... 30? .. grandkids and one great grandson (my baby grandson Riley ) so a gift for every single person is not practical. I give a single Christmas decoration (one year it was regular soldier nutcrackers, the next snowman nutcrackers another year Father Christmas dolls that sort of thing) and I make English style crackers because I LOVE them for all my nieces and nephews. It is a lot of fun searching for the best paper hats to stuff in them and they all wear them to dinner! And since i make them out of used toilet paper rolls and leftover holiday wrapping paper, it is really cheap to make them. the only mechanism part i have to buy are the snaps, and they are like 5.0o for 25 of them.

But my bottom line is always important. I buy next years family gifts just after Christmas when I get them at like 75% off so a normally 10 dollar ornament only costs 2.50. Try looking for those sorts of deals and you can usually come out pretty ok. You cannot buy say.. chocolate a year in advance, but you can buy other V-day stuff just after that holiday and some of it makes for a fine anniversary gift. Plus, if you buy stuff early and on sale you will never be caught without a gift again!

[owly]

Be thankful you got someone to share with. I wish I had someone, me and and Mary broke up but we still ahave sex every Thursday. Cherish everyday you have together...

Edit/each moment is magic even and only you can pull the rabbit out of the hat

[TEVA]

I consider myself lucky we ate dinner out for anniversary we never traded gifts cause if we want something we just go buy it when ever we pleased.
Your wife is being to demanding she should be happy you come home and help her around the house.
Thats gift in it self.
Money dont grow on trees so you have to pinch pennies where ever you can.
You can send me eatible arrangement I appreciate it.
I was a very lucky lady to have the kind of husband I had now he is gone and I feel lonely without him. Your wife should cherish the moments you have togehter life is short.
Your in laws sound terrible and uncaring and selfish.

[Blu]

Well for a follow up...

So Friday afternoon, I was still getting grief about not getting her something so I went out with Rose and got her favorite candy, a cupcake (she loves cupcakes to an absurd degree), and her favorite coffee drink (Starbucks White Mocha with Soy). Before I left and before she started giving me grief again, I had already thrown two potatoes into the oven, so I picked up cheese and sour cream too. So she was happy...well happy until she asked me how much did I pay for the cupcake... It was a fresh market cupcake (only place where I know her favorite candy is) so it was a tad bit more expensive then I would normally spend on a cupcake. But heck it was red velvet and a larger than normal cupcake.

Gili, she doesn't "fortget" she was "waiting for me to remember" LOL explain the logic behind that because I certainly can't.

Maven, eh we've known each other a good 10 years (dated 7 of those) before we got married. So we know our quircks. And I'm not the easiest person to live with...in fact my cousin said to her once something along the lines of you're good with us if you can put up with him. Heh.

Owly, sometimes I think that and sometimes I think..."Can't live without her, can't magically snap my fingers and make her go poof..."

Teva, her sisters (except for the odd money issues) and brother (except for the huge screw job he did on me with my house) aren't actually that bad. They are pretty good with my kids and are generally helpful overall. Her dad's ok when he's not overbearingly religious (and my parents are the same way with religion and tradition). But her mom and her mom's side of the family...ugh. I can do without. Maybe I'm just jaded but they are those type of Asians I tend to think as Ghetto Fab...too much into appearences and one upping each other with brags (and usually it has nothing to do with them or is false) about what they are driving, wearing or what their kids are doing.

[Jokingjoe]

My suggestion would be to move far away. Thankfully, I get along fine with my in-laws. If I didn't, I'd move us far enough away that they'd have to fly to see me.